- This topic has 9 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 10 years ago by Anonymous.
- March 18, 2010 at 4:33 pm #28966AnonymousInactive
Anyone have tips on how to deal with spouses who might not be as excited to start 50 gardening projects at one time like I do??March 25, 2010 at 2:26 pm #29250AnonymousInactive
Bribes! They work wonders. And truly, the way to a man’s heart usually has something to do with his stomach. For my husband, cooking a delicious meal is a good primer for “So I was thinking about what to do in the side yard…”-type conversations.March 26, 2010 at 1:30 pm #29259AnonymousInactive
Ha ha ha! A very good question indeed. We have been married 11 years and together for 16 and STILL don’t agree on anything landscape related. ;-) A good meal is an excellent suggestion – mine can also be bribed with good beer. With respect to anything edible, the reward of eating fresh produce has been a huge motivator here.
Sometimes, the competition is what gets to him – if he sees me out there trying to make things look better, he tries to “one up” me.
Good luck!March 26, 2010 at 3:55 pm #29261AnonymousInactive
thanks y’all! a good beer would definitely sway him – and if i cooked a meal he would probably pass out from shock (he’s definitely the chef in our house!) i never realized that i liked to start a million things at once and have them all on-going and he likes to start one thing and finish it completely before moving on. the things that you learn while gardening!!March 26, 2010 at 7:16 pm #29263AnonymousInactive
Remind him that those 50 projects result in great veggies and gorgeous landscapes. AND the planted areas don’t have to be mowed – another bonus.
(However, if you’re planning a two-week work trip in primary garden season, say June-July, be sure to purchase automatic timers AND find a a back-up person for watering, just in case).March 27, 2010 at 2:15 am #29266AnonymousInactive
Oh if only my husband didn’t encourage my 50 projects at once and add on about 30 of his own- maybe I would have some time to just sit and enjoy the garden. Or maybe I would actually finish one of those projects…March 27, 2010 at 11:17 am #29268AnonymousInactive
Oooh, my response is going to be unpopular. I’ve learned a lot in trying to stay steady, reasonable, and measured with garden projects (unlike my impulse to start 25 at once and only finish 6 by November). It’s made my gardening energy much more zen, and has increased my satisfaction with the projects I do finish because I feel/notice the accomplishment instead of always running onto the next thing. Learning to tell myself “no, just wait and think about that before you jump in” has done wonders not only for my garden, my back, my mind and my relationship! Certainly, I’m not perfect: at the least, every few weeks my husband asks that I clean up the evidence of my projects in progress, and that keeps our yard presentable for company.March 28, 2010 at 1:03 am #29270AnonymousInactive
I have found that if I can involve the use of power tools or heavy equipment-tractor, chainsaw, he is usually quite willing to help….March 28, 2010 at 4:17 pm #29277AnonymousInactive
Last season I informed my SO that, despite living with a mad gardener, it was his home-ownerly duty to participate in yard chores. He thought about it, and told me he’d rather pay someone else than have to do it himself. (I think we were both unsure if he was kidding or not.) Quick! Before he could take it back, I called on a hort-interested college kid I knew and hired him immediately. I never imagined in my wildest dreams I’d have my very own garden helper, and so far it’s worked out great for everyone.March 29, 2010 at 5:56 am #29279AnonymousInactive
Have to agree with Laura W above– if you possibly have the $$$, hiring a gardener is a must for some of us. I came to that conclusion as I struggled to keep up with my small acreage, esp. before I married a guy who loves to mow! But even beyond the mowing, I have a need to maintain and slowly build the perennial beds I have hacked out of the green Oregon fields. So I hired a friend who had a gardening business, and she was amazing! She moved and I am on my second “hired hand,” and am thoroughly grateful for the help. My husband likes to grow things, but he doesn’t have the greenest thumb, and he really has a huge chore in the mowing, so that’s how we roll.
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