SOMETIMES IT’S THE PLANT WE BOUGHT (as in “wrong plant, wrong place,” above); other times the cause of our gardener’s lament-bordering-on-shame is a little trickier, more the stuff you’d have to sort out by the 50-minute hour, on the couch. Over the years Andre Jordan, my doodling friend, has reminded me of more than just a few of my horticulturally induced regrets, including these:
SOMETIMES IT’S that we, ahem, overdid it just a tad (not that such a thing has ever happened to me).
A COROLLARY of overdoing it: when we buy more things than we can keep an eye on (especially in a dry year like this one, when you can practically hear the newly planted babies screaming across the yard for relief, and you can’t water fast or deeply enough).
I‘VE TRIED getting help; I have. Somehow, though, when that first seed catalog arrives in my mailbox, or spring springs at the garden center, I just can’t seem to control myself and I slip right back into my old ways.
I‘VE EVEN MADE LISTS and contracts with myself, promising to behave differently, to head off any possible regrets at the pass. But, no; it never quite helps–or if it does, the improvement in my bad behavior is short-lived. (Note to Andre: I do manage to wash regularly, thank you very much.)
OF COURSE, some of our garden regrets have nothing do do with plants whatsoever–unless you count the juniper berries in that third gin martini, or the agave in that margarita, or the hops in one too many beers. I regret misbehaving in all these ways, I truly do–but the likelihood of my acting differently in seasons to come? Slim to none.
And you?
Excellent post. Well written and well doodled.
Ha! these cartoons made me laugh – especially the 1.wash, 5.wash
- I quite literally look like charles shultz’s ‘Pigpen’ working outside sometimes – especially now that it has been so dry and dusty! Really love your blog and the wealth of tips you provide – the best gardening blog I have found so far!
thanks!
Love them all! I confess, on a day I can spend in the garden, I’m guilty of deciding to wait until after my hours in the garden for my shower, and that always seems to be the day that my favorite neighbors stop by or my husband’s business partner.
Have totally picked up plants when going to get some other non-gardening thing.
Hi, Irvin, and thank you. Love a dose of Andre’s doodles when the summer weather is getting me down.
Hi, Melkorka, and thank you for the kind words, too. Pigpen would be a NICE description for what I look like after a summer day in the garden. :)
See you both soon again, I hope.
How about “Remember to get dressed before going to the garden.” Because lots of times, I run out in the morning in my PJs to just “check on things” or do some early watering or grab a few fresh veggies before the bugs are out and don’t realize until the post man pulls up in the afternoon to hand me my mail that he is about to get an eyeful. Again. :)
Hi, Stevie. Oh, that has NEVER happened to me (right). :) The worst thing is if it’s the UPS man — meaning around 3 PM! Then I know I really lost track of all reality. See you soon again, I hope.
How about “Resist the temptation to start weeding and pruning in your neighbor’s yard. Also do not engage in creeping annexation by moving your flower beds into your neighbor’s lawn a few inches at a time.” Not that I’m admitting anything.
Very enjoyable post.
Had to laugh out loud at 1. Wash & 5. Wash. Came home from the grocery store yesterday evening, after having spent the day in the garden, and noticed when I looked in the mirror that I had tons of black grime in the crease that runs all the way across the center of my neck. Looked like I hadn’t bathed in months!
The “dwarf” plant reminds me of my grandmother who was famous for her green thumb. Nothing “dwarf” that she planted ever stayed dwarf!
Hi, Linda. You are in good (filthy) company here is all I can say. :)
Oh the washing, yes very embarrassing going to the grocery store looking like I rolled in mud, and then coming home with plants instead of food. I had to reread the not talking to your friends’ plants. I was thinking that the plants wouldn’t understand because they don’t normally get talked to. It took me a while to figure out the friends wouldn’t understand.
What a lovely little afternoon pick-me-up after a hard morning in the garden. Thanks for the smile.
Rose
Hi, Rose. Glad to help. Andre’s doodles always make me feel better, too. And goodness knows the regrets list is stacking up over here… :) See you soon again, I hope.
When you wear your good shoes out in the garden: wash them before going to the gym.
Does running through the sprinklers count as taking a shower?
Oh, Lydia, my shoes…well, let’s just say none are very “good” at this point. And yes, sprinklers count. Dousing your hair with the hose when it’s so hot you can’t go on another minute weeding or mowing counts as a hair-wash, too.
Okay, doodle me this. I put on normal gardening clothes except, just this once in early spring, I’ll wear my swimsuit top to get a “little sun.” Three hours later, “Why is back burning?” Oh no! Again?