I FEEL ROUND 3 OF GARDEN NO-NO’S coming on. When Mary Lynn asked yesterday in a comment about my point of view on using landscape fabric, the fuse was quickly lit: NO! I said. NO! I’ve rounded up some no-no’s we’ve posted collectively so far, but I bet by now there are a few more things to bitch about. Grab a lawn chair and a cold drink, and we can fester together this holiday weekend. Sure beats weeding (which ought to be a garden no-no). Is watering with a coffee pot (or gardening in your long-johns) a no-no? Not for me, apparently.
Some greatest (worst?) hits we shared from Garden No-No’s Part 1 and No-No’s Part 2:
Dyed green bamboo stakes.
Dyed rust-colored mulch (do you sense a theme here?). Any dyed mulch, in fact, is a no-no to my eye.
Volcano mulch (that is, piled up deep against trunks of trees and shrubs).
Cartoon-like or out of scale garden décor items, especially in plastic, to include gnomes (though there was some sentimental dispute about gnomes), wishing wells and lions.
White plastic anything.
Gravel or lava rock as a decorative mulch outside of dry zones or containers.
Chemicals and chemical-laden products.
Too much space between plants. Too much lawn.
Bad staking, particularly staking with other than natural bamboo and twine.
Inserting plastic nursery tags into the garden as markers.
Sprinkler systems running in the rain or when otherwise not needed.
Excess noisy power tools.
And like I said, landscape fabric. Again, dissent expressed here; some people are proponents of the stuff.
So? You?
mulch faq’s 
Driving around the country i see lots of garden no-nos – the red mulch is awful indeed. But the displays of gnomes and religious figures and the little dutch girl and boy, and fake deer all jumbled together are really amusing! wouldn’t want them in my yard but they’re fun to look at. now with the holidays coming up our dark nights will soon be illuminated by millions of lights, with reindeer and santas, etc. i think these are fun also but I hate loathe & despise those blow up creatures! i want to go out and shoot darts into them.
@Abby: Say ‘No’ to blow-up figures (except maybe the one in ‘Lars and the Real Girl,’ a very odd and touching indy film I saw not long ago on DVD. Hate blow-up lawn features, agreed. Thanks.
Oh, imagine my dismay when I read that whiskey barrells are a no-no just after planting mine with ornamental grass, daiseys, purple fan plants, margarita vines and lantana. I needed something large and heavy, so it wouldn’t be washed off my dock during a storm. I’m happy to report that it survived the summer (and Hanna) and the lush plants are cascading over all sides covering my “gauche” container choice. Also the little of it that does show is a beautiful wood that has weathered naturally, like the dock. I think I’ll keep it!
@Margaret T: I have whiskey barrels, too! Love them for down near my barn and driveway where their simplicity and scale. You are not alone.
Margaret, whatever happened to the diving momma? Did you ever see babies? Perhaps a pithe helmut next summer?
I know I’m a little late to the game here, but I just have to weigh in on one of favorite subjects, garden no-no’s. Since I live in a pretty new subdivision, the homes often come with a weedy lawn, and nothing else. These are large homes I’m talking about here. Four years later, and still not a shrub, flower, or plant in sight. Argh! Not sure what is worse though, because many of them plant two or three tiny boxwoods in front of their large homes and call it a day. Still others fill the area with random annuals, leaving their winter landscaping bare. Should I hire myself out as the neighborhood yard-nazi?
Must second Cathy’s comment about pitiful/dying hanging plants, and let’s face it – those glow-in-the-dark white plastic hanging baskets they come in with the heavy white hanging hook don’t help, do they? Am also not a huge fan of wishing wells or backyard ponds and/or pools that have a wall of rock and cascading waterfall as a ‘focal point’. Looks especially sad in close quarters where you can see the neighbor’s fence peeking over the top of the rock ‘wall’…
Welcome, Joan. I have to say I second all your (e)motions. Thanks for visiting, and come again soon.
Here is my personal list. I am certain many of these have been stated before, but they bear repeating.
1. scalloped edging, especially in brick-red. I find it simply intolerable.
2. Also, immensely sparse plantings of sad, small hostas and the like decorating the front of the house, with miles of white quartz in between (and typically topped off with scalloped edging).
3. Leaving pre-made hanging baskets in the white plastic containers (with the giant white hooks) they came in and displaying them on metal rods stuck into the middle of a drab lawn.
4. 3 foot painted-white mock-ancient-Greek statues.
5. On the statue rant: animals. Particularly the plastic rabbits and squirrels whose “cuteness” factor (read: eye size huge relative to head size, head huge size relative to body size) overshadows that of the real thing when seated side by side.
6. Lastly, the one peeve that goes without saying: chemicals. My belief is if it was not meant to grow in my garden, with my best physical defenses, it shan’t.
Welcome, Alexandra, a woman who knows what she (dis)likes! Love all your no-no’s, and do very much hope you will be back soon with more tips and (not)-to-do’s to share.
New developments are such a landscaping challenge. How long must new homeowners wait to obtain shade? It’s no wonder the fast growing, but pet peevy ugly silver maples and colorado spruce trees pervade 80% of the homes in my Minnesota neighborhood.
Oh dear, I’ve been guilty of a few of those (gnomes – for my kid!!), plastic nursery tags (too lazy to write my own, too forgetful to remember complicated latin plant names), and leaving dead plants in the ground for too long. I’d like to nominate a few others that I am not guilty of, just to spread the shame around: cutting down healthy/mature trees for views or caprice or wanting not to have to take care of them; having a paid gardener who does not know how to garden; planting invasives; weed whackers (that send the weed seeds over to other people’s gardens); gas-powered lawnmowers and other huge pollutors. Thanks, great post idea!
- Karen
http://greenwalks.wordpress.com
i just don’t get the plastic strips twisted so that they blow or twirl in the wind-kind of like hanging out trash as decorations
people parking cars in my garden not in the parking ares to get under tree shade-it is mean and distructive
water featurs with several types of rocks, mounded up with no consideration for aesthetics and the plastic liner showing–eww
thanks for the great site!
Welcome, Eileen. All good ones! The parking one is especially important: Cars are not exactly friendly to even the largest plants, our trees, let alone anything smaller. Hope to see you again soon.
A gardening no-no for me besides many of the ones already mentioned are the “faces”, eyes, ears, noses and mouths that people nail to their trees. It makes me feel like Dorothy right before the flying monkeys came to get her!
Welcome, Shelly. I am happy to report we don’t seem to have those in these here parts. Phew! Come back soon.
Shelly and I must live in the same area. I pass one of those faces on my way to work every morning and it freaks me out. Garden ornaments of all kinds seem to have exploded in the front and back yards of my neighbors. I know my gardens aren’t perfect but at least they are all natural. I have to admit there are times when I have been tempted to go around in the middle of the night and rid the neighborhood of these offensive “decorations” I have restrained myself so far, but it has not been easy.
Welcome, Grace. I cannot encourage vandalism (but I can grasp why you’d want to!). See you soon again.
I am a brand new aspiring gardener (sort-of) hoping that I can redeem myself after a failed first year. I must confess that I committed some of these garden no-nos. I have colored bamboo stakes in my garage right now. Oh well. I guess I have a lot to learn from this blog. I’m glad to find you.
PS. I do have a garden no-no, How about fake flowers. My neighbor’s yard is full of them!
Welcome, Natalie. And don’t worry about the colored stakes…use them up in the veggie garden or in the rear of a bed. And remember this: It’s your garden. Do as you please. Tell us all to go to gardener’s hell (which is where there are only plastic plants and silk flowers, as you apparently understand). Each year we grow our garden, our understanding of the how-to’s grows with it. So happy to see you here–and use the Forum to ask questions anytime.
I used to hate hate the big colorful globes on a stand. I’ve seen it used a few times now where it does look nice. Have to agree with other commenter on the sanford and sons look. Some people have more ornaments in their garden than plants!
Must admit that I am guilty of a few no-nos myself. Like not getting plants in the week they are purchased, lol. And not landscaping our new home.
It’s been 3 growing seasons since we’ve moved in and only 5 trees are planted so far. None near the house. But it’s a little different here cuz we have so much work on this little farm.
This blog gives me new inspiration. I won’t have gardens all around the house here, like I have had in ‘town’. I need simple plans so that I can maintain it well. At least until the kids are older.
This list of no-nos was a great read and I will keep it all in mind as I make my plans! Thanks Margaret! for this list and your awesome blog too!
Tina
Welcome, Tina. Don’t worry, we’re all guilty of some of them. To each his or her own. Just fun to hear everyone out in the comments here. I hope to see you here again with us soon.
Been enjoying your site for a while now, and am finally going to comment.
How about those spiral boxwoods or arborvitae or whatever kinds of trees that get shorn into unnatural shapes? or pom-pom trees? Yuk!
It is true that other topiary can be fun and creative, just not the kind that makes me feel like I am in suburban New Jersey. Does it work in suburban New Jersey – I doubt it.
another no no is planting without planning. I am afraid that i must admit that I haven’t matured sufficiently to follow that rule however, thank goodness that my plants love being moved around.
thanks for all the inspiration,Molly
Welcome, Molly; nice to hear from you and have your no-no’s to add to the list. Just so you know: 30-plus years into this “hobby,” I still plant without planning sometimes, too. Oops.
I have to agree with the fake flowers in the ground or stuck in a bush. I will admit it’s hard to carve a nice garden out of our harsh enviroment here, but faking one is the worst. Personally a dead yard is better than a faded fake flower garden. The only time I use the fake ones is at the cemetary in a vase that is mounted on the side of the headstone. Even then I change them out as soon as they start looking a little blah.
I have one question. Why don’t any of the garden sites give tips or ideas for my area. I live in central to west texas where it is dry and hot. Personally I have tried to do most of my gardening with native plants such as desert willow, sage, and some types of cactus. I love century plants. The only thing is, I love all the beautifull flowers and colors, but they won’t survive the heat or require more water than we can spare when it doesn’t rain for 4 months. Any suggestions?
Welcome, Sara M. I wish I were expert enough to provide you with region-specific gardening advice, and advice for all the nation’s diverse regions. Some of the sources (and expert nurserymen) I admire most who you may want to check in with online are Yucca Do and also High Country Gardens (the latter is not near you, but I think nevertheless worth a look).
Thank you for the wonderful sites. Probably spend the rest of my morning browsing through them. I just want to say I love your blog and check it all the time. Keep up the great work!!
Hi Margaret,
Bad staking, as was already mentioned, but bad staking of Annabelle hydrangeas and peonies, so they look like they’re being hoisted and strangled is, to my eye, the worst!
And blue spruces planted in small city front yards!
Welcome, Ailsa. Love the “hoisted and strangled” description. So funny. (And awful, you’re so right.) Thanks for visiting.
it is the eye of the beholder, isn’t it?
My lawn ornaments (garden gnomes, plastic flamingoes,gazing globes, waterfalls . . ) are charming and tasteful. Yours are amusing. Theirs are tacky.
Hello to Abby…and yes, the grass is always greener and the gnomes cuter on MY side of the fence. Yes. Thanks for joining in, and come back soon.
I’m new to the site and apologize for any repeats of others’ pet peeves but must name some:
any plant left in it’s original plastic container from the nursery or store
onesy-twosy plants instead of planting in more impactful groups
haphazard mixes of garden containers in general – a former neighbor displayed her potted plants in various margarine tubs and I thought that if she was going to commit that particular gardening sin she should at least pick one brand of margarine and run with it (don’t even get me started on the actual eating of margarine vs butter)
ornamental bushes severely pruned with electric trimmers
failure to participate in yard/garden maintenance (no deadheading, shriveled & yellowing leaves left hanging sadly from otherwise healthy plants, leaves unraked, mulch not replenished)
weird garden edging
tacky mixes of plastic, wooden, clay, metal “garden art”
and the worst crime of all…having no garden at all!!
Welcome, Barbara. I agree with all yours…especially that last one. Just say “yes” to gardening, indeed. Thanks for starting 2009 with us.
As to the gardening no-no’s: my friend, Erica Glasener, said it perfectly when she described the “meatballs” in landscapes; the round-pruned shrubs all in a little row…YUCK! I also don’t like to see spring bulbs planted like little soldiers and much prefer a naturalized planting. The dyed mulch is like the twilight zone combined with heavy metal music.
Great website, Margaret…btw, my maiden name was Roach.
Karen
Welcome, Karen (born as a Roach!). Thanks for starting 2009 with us, and for your no-no’s. The “meatballs” made me laugh. Hope to see you again soon.
I hope this is only a Southern thing…
Tires painted white and used as planters
Dyed mulch, and the worst of all…
Mulch made of shredded tires.
Welcome, Nikki. No, sorry to say it’s here, too…all of it. And that last bit: the worst of all no-no’s. Can you believe this is actually being marketed legally…the reintroduction of shredded tires into the environment? I complained about it last year in a thread on the Q&A Forums, I recall. Thanks for being here to kick off 2009, and do come back soon.
Did anyone mention Christmas lights year round…. redneck women hang a prism from your rear view window and let that be it!!
Here’s my pet peeve: having invasive plants in the yard adjacent to mine. My neighbor’s predecessor planted tons of BAMBOO in the yard, and I am constantly fighting to keep it from straying into my yard. The unknown offender also planted ajuga/bugleweed, and it is spreading all over the neighborhood. Very sad. Why not use a native plant groundcover with potential ecological benefits?
Not only is the planting of exotics a missed opportunity to help the environment and wildlife in your area, but using *invasive* exotics is rude!
Welcome, Rachel. This is one of the most challenging subjects today, not just because of the impact on our landscapes personally, but because of the entire environmental impact, as you say. A very complex subject. I thank you for raising it, and hope to see you again soon.
I have lots of garden no-no’s, but my biggest one, one that I stop for and actually get out of my car to take pictures of, is…
ALIEN CIRCLES! You’ve all seen them, they appear overnight in your neighbors yard. you wake up one morning, go out for your walk and bam! ‘Where did that come from?’
Is it easier to cut out a perfect circle, sometimes three…four, then a lovely organic shape that maybe starts somewhere and connects something else and makes a whole? Is it easier to mow around these circles, then following along a lovely natural shape. I don’t know, I’ve given up trying to understand them…
I don’t understand them, I don’t understand people who out of no where drop a circle in the middle of their innocent lawn. or worse, matching circles on either side of their driveway. What makes it worse is the ‘edging’ they determine as acceptable. Pink scallop brick, brown or black plastic edging that for some reason they believe looks natural! Worse, taking an innocent river rock and belittling it by lining them up in circles!
Don’t get me started on what they then choose to plant in these little or big alien circles. The embarrassement these little innocents must feel, all alone or maybe with unrelated companions. It’s so sad. I won’t even go into the “mulch” that they usually get treated with…it’s already been mentioned.
Thanks for this wonderful site and for letting me have a place to finally write publicly on this terrible treatment of innocent lawns!
Welcome, Angela, and you are very kind to share your no-no’s and also your praise. Love the term “alien circles,” and you are right: perfect geometry isn’t very natural in these instances. Here on my hillside, every bed is amoebic-shaped because it would really look insane to be perfect, even worse than it does on flat ground. Come visit us again soon.
All the above no-no’s would be preferable to my neighbor’s cement pot with chain, which apparently prevents miscellaneous old and rusty items-for-sale from being stolen.
Welcome, Mary Ann. Oh dear, sounds like a less-than-desirable view has been created for you by said neighbor. Sorry. Don’t suppose any chance that leaving a nice note in the mailbox will help? Nope, doesn’t sound like it. Do come see us again soon; we will keep a tidy front yard, promise.
OK, I need more information. What is so terrible about white plastic planters? I use them inside my other, more attractive, hanging baskets to help retain moisture and soil. And on deck rails, they’re as lightweight as you’re going to get and, again, they don’t dry out too fast.
We don’t all have sprawling rural estates to work with, you know. I agree with the posters who don’t like dyed garden materials and lawn ornaments. But some of these no-nos are just practical. I hang some of my planters on bungee cords so I don’t have to get on a ladder. Call the aesthetics police! Conformity now!
Welcome, Chigal. Plastic pots make great liners for other baskets, great point, and plastic is a more water-retaining material than terra cotta (and as you say, lighter weight). I think that in gardening, as in life, we each have our funny bones, our things that just feel like “don’ts,” but of course aren’t part of any actual rulebook. Hope to see you again (and bring the bungee cords along, no worry). We’ll all be here still non-conforming.
About those plastic ornaments, especially animals. It creeps me out to see plastic deer because the small size and position they put them in makes them look like fetuses to me. I live in a rural area where they are everywhere. Gross! Any why are most garden ornaments 12-18 inches tall? How could they NOT look junky? I’d rather have one expensive stone-looking statue than 20 small plastic pieces.
Welcome, Lynne. Thanks for adding to the list…and if you think of any more no-no’s, do tell. :)
Improperly pruning Crepe Myrtle Trees. I have seen stumps– hat racking , complete removal of the limbs — are these not trees to develop height and form?. If they grow and fail to bloom perhaps fertilizer, more water for the increased size will Help. But the year after year of mass branch removal boggles my mind. Comments. Please
Hi Margaret –
I am beginning to install a series of perennial borders in my backyard and I have a question regarding edging. I like the brick edging Martha Stewart used in her gardens at Turkey Hill. I also like the clean look of the english edge I see in your garden. I can’t decide! Help! I’m really interested to hear you weigh in on this most important topic of edging!! Thank you Margaret!!