July 3, 2008
I FEEL ROUND 3 OF GARDEN NO-NO’S coming on. When Mary Lynn asked yesterday in a comment about my point of view on using landscape fabric, the fuse was quickly lit: NO! I said. NO! I’ve rounded up some no-no’s we’ve posted collectively so far, but I bet by now there are a few more things to bitch about. Grab a lawn chair and a cold drink, and we can fester together this holiday weekend. Sure beats weeding (which ought to be a garden no-no). Is watering with a coffee pot (or gardening in your long-johns) a no-no? Not for me, apparently.
Some greatest (worst?) hits we shared from Garden No-No’s Part 1 and No-No’s Part 2:
Dyed green bamboo stakes.
Dyed rust-colored mulch (do you sense a theme here?). Any dyed mulch, in fact, is a no-no to my eye.
Volcano mulch (that is, piled up deep against trunks of trees and shrubs).
Cartoon-like or out of scale garden décor items, especially in plastic, to include gnomes (though there was some sentimental dispute about gnomes), wishing wells and lions.
White plastic anything.
Gravel or lava rock as a decorative mulch outside of dry zones or containers.
Chemicals and chemical-laden products.
Too much space between plants. Too much lawn.
Bad staking, particularly staking with other than natural bamboo and twine.
Inserting plastic nursery tags into the garden as markers.
Sprinkler systems running in the rain or when otherwise not needed.
Excess noisy power tools.
And like I said, landscape fabric. Again, dissent expressed here; some people are proponents of the stuff.
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124 Responses to “complaint dept. is open: more ‘no-no’s’”
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A great alternative to landscape fabric that my husband and I use is cardboard. It works well and reuse of a material is always better than recycling.
You’ve already got my top three up there, but I passed a plastic pond plunked right in the middle of a sunny yard yesterday and nearly choked. It had plastic looking ‘rock formations’ and a clay frog placed beside it. Zero landscaping. So, “plastic ponds” are another no-no for me.
Almost as soon as I hit the “publish” button, I thought of another: Say “no” to apparently deranged female tree swallows who simply will not allow me to cross my property without inflicting bodily harm. Why does she dive-bomb me these last weeks with such ferocity, aiming right at my face? I love birds, but she is testing my softness. And yes, I have tried talking to her about it…to no avail. Anybody speak swallow?
Margaret,
I’d think again about landscape cloth. I have used it an organic method to kill invasive weeds. It takes a year (or two!) but works on aegopodium, etc.
love the blog,
Laura
ps maybe aegopodium is a no no in the garden.
Welcome, Laura. Were you able to get it up out of the area after it smothered the weeds, or did it get all sort of knitted into the ground layer? That was my biggest issue.
And welcome, Heather. Yes! Cardboard as mulch is definitely part of our Way to Garden.
Aegopodium, ha! Transplanted some of that from a shady spot near the shed the first year I commenced gardening. Now two years later, well, it sure does spread with a few hours of sun. Oh well, digging it up gives me something to do while waiting for the rasberries to ripen.
One last post before the holiday fun begins….. I am GUILTY of buying the green bamboo stakes. However, they did not last long in the Grant Family Garden as they quickly became lightsabers for nightly good vs. evil fights in the backyard with the Grant Boys. I promise…no more green bamboo…..
You’ve covered my big ones, with one exception: “Silk” flowers stuck in the ground or in actual living shrubs. Sadly, I have seen this in more than one location. Makes me want to do my best Joan Crawford impression and scream “No Fake Flowers!!!” Sigh…
Love the site! Keep up the good work!
No bargain basement garden tools. That 8 dollar rake won’t last more than a week. Invest in good quality tools and you’ll have them forever.
Welcome, James. I guess we all have had our share of pain from gout(weed). Dummy over here did the same thing years ago. Ignorance was bliss…till it got going.
And welcome, Rebecca. Having lived much of my life in NYC, where this is a special year-round in gas-station planters, I laughed at your remark. Good one!
Now as for you, Eddie…actually, all is forgiven. I hate the way they rub off on your hands as much as how they aren’t really any color of green that conceals itself very well outdoors. Happy holiday, and tell those boys to be careful with those swords.
No ugly plastic cutesy bird feeders. They’re meant to feed birds - they don’t want to eat out of a plastic lighthouse or a fake pineapple or from a dwarf’s hand. Just buy the nice copper, steel, cedar or glass ones. You know the kind that your grandmother would recognize? They’ll last longer and your friends won’t question your taste…
Welcome, Laura. Good suggestion…but speaking of birds, do YOU speak swallow? This bird of mine is going to take my eyes out if I don’t learn to communicate…
I don’t get why you don’t like green bamboo stakes. They disappear more readily than the natural ones. And bad staking is bad staking no matter how natural the materials.
I don’t think I agree with “nothing but bamboo” for stakes. I do have a great source of bamboo - an herb lady brings it to our farmer’s market every Sunday - 4 eight-foot pieces for $1. Fabulous bean tee-pees.
But I also have stakes made of oak that I use every year to reinforce tomato cages and hold up eggplants gone wild. They are recycled pieces of oak moulding, cut on a slant to make them easy to drive in with a hammer. The hardwood weathers nicely, and lasts longer than bamboo.
Besides… what else are we going to do with the handles of broken tools if we can’t turn them into stakes?
My personal peeve is not just using the nursery tags as plant markers, but actually leaving the tags on shrubs and trees after planting. To me, it’s like wearing a dress with the store tag still hanging out from under the armpit!
I speak a little TRES. Perhpas either you or Jack are too close to (or are approaching)her nest. It’s a little late in the Northeast for nesting but I have three new TRES nests this week…
Madame Swallow is protecting her nest. She’ll leave you alone once the babies are a little older.
Uh-oh, I got Gardenboy mad at me again. But here’s what you said last time I brought this up, Gardenboy, and got you riled, and I was just paraphrasing your prior comment in my summary:
“You and all of your rules. The beauty of a garden is that it is yours and you can do what you damn well please…with a few minor exceptions. You can use any combination of flowers you want just not in a tipped over milk can, whiskey barrel, old metal bucket. No crappy staking of any kind. Plain bamboo or wooden stakes and natural twine, period. If it is mass produced it is not a garden ornament it is trash. Plain and simple.”
From that comment, I thought you were ditto my point of view on the green stakes. Obviously we need counseling. Do you have insurance that covers it? Are you willing, or will we just let this be the end of us once and for all, Hon (or is that Sug)?
@Farmgirl: Pls head down the mountain and talk to her. Really violent this year. Always aggressive, but this time it’s violent. And no end in sight.
@Matriarchy: You had to remind me of the fact that my most beloved shovel snapped, huh? The handle was so well-worn and the weight so perfect…and now it’s bye-bye, with nary a good replacement in sight anywhere at any price. I didn’t make it into anything, I just cursed a lot.
@May Karr: Welcome to the blog, and the conversation. Based on her very showy, electric blue coloration, I think she’s a third-year female, maybe even the one who’s been with me two previous birthing seasons. Usually she chatters and flies near me when I move about the vicinity of her nest box, but this year we’re talking ATTACK. Perhaps she read in The Times that I am here more nowadays than in prior years and has some strong feelings about that development?
So much for my rule about good tools only. Even the good ones break, eventually. Remember, nothing lasts. Hmm, who said that?
@Brian G.: I take the Fifth, Mr. Smarty-Pants.
Hi, Margaret. My guess for the reason that the Momma swallow is so fierce this year is that there is a predator that has been after her nest. When she sees you she just isn’t going to take any chances. Put some head and eye gear on and hope for the best!
This will stir up the gravel and landscape fabric police no doubt.
How about those white rocks (about an inch in size). Just fill the whole garden with it. (As I have witnessed in horror.) That way you can just move a clear spot to put the 3 or 4 lonely hostas in along with your garden trolls and 50 lb rocks for additional decor.
Of course we don’t want to buy a gallon of Round-up every few weeks to kill all the weeds (or wildflowers which we get on Long Island when we are lucky) that will grow through the rocks so before dumping that ton and a half of chalky white rocks, lay down….and no really, I did see this happen….extra large Glad lawn and leaf bags covering the entire garden.
Then dump the rocks on! Yeah!
This comment brought to you by the kind of people who fill their backyards with concrete so they won’t have to mow the lawn. ;-)
You just can’t make this stuff up.
Have a great holiday weekend Margaret.
-J
Welcome, James! It was the preponderance of great design ideas like those that made me flee the area you refer to for the rural reaches. Happy 4th to you and yours, too.
Such a fun group! Outta time to explore your exceptional site…about to make a 1000 mile move south to help care for parents. Hope to resume this curiosity next fall? Before I go…Bid Garden No No for me is cigarette butts!!!! There ought to be a law! Big garden confession…I stick the plastic white labels in the soil next to plant! Good thing, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to identify my oreganos (and thanks to you) know which is good for cooking. White plastic labels…NEVER AGAIN!!! I promise! Have a wonderful relaxing holiday…and I’m sure that swallow was just freaked by the storms…probably lost her nest and thinks you had something to do with it. Shell come to see your soft side.
When I lived where I had a big yard and had let some of it go natural (even my non-natural part is always pretty wild), I had an infinite supply of dead branches to use to stake things.
I tried to minimize both bringing things into the garden and taking things out - i.e. most all “debris” got composted, and I started a lot of things from seed or cuttings.
What can I say, if I didn’t leave tags down the bottom of plants I would never remember what they were. More organized people make garden maps, but I never kept them up.
Swallows, being dive bombed means they’re protecting a nest. I had mocking birds at my old house who owned the yard for part of each year. Well, you’d be pretty upset if a giant was near your babies :-)
Courtenay,
What is it with smoking, does it affect the brain cells? I came out into my yard last week after some workmen had been here, and found cigarette butts in the compost bin which was full of tinder dry grass, and sits right next to my garage.
Not to mention that they carry tobacco mosaic virus, which infects tomato plants.
Well, I’ve never been one to follow the fashion “do’s and dont’s” of the world… So I’m gonna have to stay on the other side of the sentimental gnome dispute….he’s ceramic, not plastic and there’s only one… is that good? :)
Margaret,
I love the picture of your watering container. I have the same coffee pot which was used at my parents wedding 66 years ago. I use mine on the deck as a vase for my summer bouquets.
Your blog is a treasure. Thank you.
@Barbara: Last time I confessed that I have one, too. Rescued from garbage-pickup night curbside in a nearby town many years back. He looked so sad standing on the curb with the trash…ceramic, too.
@Margaret T: Two Margarets with matching coffee pots, now both transformed into garden-related gear. Nice. Welcome.
The worst of all suburban garden sins… outdoor stereo speakers! Have a fabulous 4th, Margaret!
Uh-oh, Andy…I have a pair. I am rural, not suburban, but still hesitant to use them though my only neighbor is like a quarter-mile away or more…but it seemed like a good idea when I got them. Relaxing outside with music…but what if it bothers someone, I keep thinking/worrying? (Again, ain’t nobody nearby, but worry I do anyhow.)
Um. I am putting landscape fabric under flagstones, with a layer of sand for leveling. Is that bad? How else can I block the weeds from coming through?
Theme-gardening? Blue gardens, red gardens, tropical gardens, Mediterranean gardens — when not in Italy, Spain, France, the tropics or Disneyland.
I second Heather’s suggestion on cardboard.
I’ve often used this instead of any landscape fabric product and not only is it a lot more eco-friendly it also works really well too!
As I look out my home office window, I’m witnessing my neighbor lining her flower bed with small American flags. I’ve just added that decorative touch to my list of no-no’s. She’s just added a small Uncle Sam statue. I’m resisting the urge to leap through the open window and save her from a design disaster. Actually, I’m going to add statues (and I’m speaking of particular types of statues) to my list of no-no’s. No offense to anyone.
I have to disagree with Andy re: outdoor speakers. There’s nothing better than nice soft music while enjoying my morning coffee on the patio (I recommend the coffeehouse channel on Sirius) or as background music for outdoor entertaining. Happy Fourth!
Kenn, Maybe it’s a Fourth of July thing only.
I had a neighbor once who felt the whole neighborhood would enjoy his taste in music outdoors instead of peace and quiet, sigh.
@Kitt: I think this is the only place I’d even consider using a permanent product like this, and I know many people do. Definitely not ever in beds w/plants to my mind.
@Jonith: There goes my plan to place oversized Minnie and Mickey statues in the front yard…
@Michelle: Welcome, and thanks for the affirmation on our favorite weed-blocker. Another believer!
@Kenn and Karen Anne: I’m going to leave it to the two of you to iron this out, to pick a sound level that suits both parties and a timeframe for how long “seasonal” displays can be left in place.
James Taylor and hydrangeas - perfect together. Soulja Boy and outside - not. My itouch in a speaker just suits me fine. However sound travels, especially blasting music. What if I like the sound of wrens singing and water falling in my fountain? That’s why ipods were invented.
I think rather than a statue of Uncle Sam, Kenn, the holiday enthusiast should dress up as either Uncle Sam or a Colonist. That would be fun to see. Do they do Valentine’s Day? I’m thinking Cupid!
Gotta go, I have a ton of rocks left to stripe! Happy, safe 4th.
Andy - I’ll pass on the idea… I could use a new flag.. she could sit on her porch and sew one all day long. Happy rock striping!
Excellent topic and I am so going to use the cardboard tip!
Living in suburbia, there are tonnes of examples of garden no-nos. I could write a novel, so I’ll just pick two.
1) Not researching trees before planting. That 8 foot blue spruce fits your front lawn lovely right now, but it’s going to grow into your driveway in 5 years.
2) The dude down the street from me who shellacs the rock in his front yard.
Happy fourth to all of you Americans!
…my $0.02…cure those pesky diving swallows with a few strategically placed plastic owls, avoid tilt when attaching…lol. Another item to go in the garden with piped in James Taylor music is blinking flood lights. Put ‘em on a timer to go on/off, esp if you have a fountain. I am seeing red, blue and green blinkers on cascading water. Some sins are in your mind while others live free in bliss.
My husband shares your weeding as garden no-no. He is a botanist and should wear the tag line “What’s the matter? Don’t you like the plants we got?” :-) Happy 4th!
I think I agree with every single one of these! Except I kind of dig my white plastic chairs but it’s more because I like the way the white contrasts nicely with the patio paver color. If I could find proper white chairs I’d totally get rid of the plastic ones.
Nice work - love the list!
I think it’s time to pull out my copies of “Passalong Plants” and “Yard Art and Handmade Places” as an antidote to all these wagging fingers. :-)
(I do have my own pet peeves but just because I wouldn’t use white painted tires as garden planters in my own garden doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate them in someone else’s.)
Gina,
LLBean has hardwood Adirondack chairs in white.
Hmm, I kind of like theirs in pale yellow. Except I don’t need any chairs…Do I have a place I could put chairs…
Actually, I have a bottle tree behind a small grove of large blue hydrangeas. The bottles are all blue. It looks magical. There is no music playing. And I collect rocks. I stack them, spill them, pile the large ones for my terriers to climb and I edge some of my gardens with them. I do not paint them.
I will always remember something my art history professor quoted to us: “All art is art, good, bad or intrinsic.” Same could be said for gardens. Except for blasting music;-)
Whew, thanks for the reassurance! I’m only putting the landscape fabric under the flagstones and under rock mulch in a narrow space on the north side of my house where nothing but weeds grow anyway.
One tip for those who want to mulch with paper, you can use newspaper if you know it’s got soy-based ink. Even better, you can call your local newspaper and see if they give away or sell the end rolls from their printing press. There’s usually a fair amount of paper per roll, ink-free. It’s good for school projects and for packing stuff to move, too.
How about the chubby lady bending over weeding with her “derriere in the air “ornament…trash to me ..treasure to someone…
also little signs placed around with wittisms such as “wipe your Paws” or” Bunny Crossing” ( seen at Bunny Williams home…even great designers show a lapse in taste…) Mortals we all are… benjia
@Benjia: So I should take down my sign that says “Roach Motel” over here? (Kidding, but I have to say I’m really laughing at Bunny’s funny.)
Trash or treasure, it’s all context, I think, as MSS smartly reminds us above and you echo.
I am realizing nobody has mentioned gazing globes here pro or con) or in the two previous rounds of comments…or garden lighting, which can sometimes go dramatically amok in Las Vegas strip style…or speaking of Vegas, fountains that border on Vesuvius in tiny little pools. But maybe it’s all good, because it’s just each of us “mere mortals” (to steal Benjia’s phrase) expressing ourselves, engaging with the outdoors and having fun?
Some things are “no-nos” and others are plain evil, like garden gnomes. They should be thrown in the pond. (But maybe I’ve read too much Harry Potter trying to keep up with my kid.)
I agree that landscape fabric is a no-no, unless you never change your mind about what goes where. (Doesn’t apply to me; I rearrange my garden like others do their living room furniture.) I tried landscape fabric under old bricks I put down as a little patio by the pond, then decided to replace part of the bricks with ginormous cast-concrete feet. (They aren’t tacky because I painted them a pale shade of washed out green and gave them red toenails.) I wanted the landscape fabric out so I could plant creepy Jenny around the feet; ended up slashing and stabbing it with a knife and ripping it out with a hand-held three-prong hoe — took forever.
I don’t like cardboard or newspaper either because the when the mulch deteriorates or washes away you’re left with ugly cardboard or newspaper mess.
Statuary can be tacky unless it’s very old and partly hidden by foliage, or if your kids give it to you. OK, it might still be tacky, but by the time they grow up and leave home you’ll come to feel pleased with it.
Chemicals are definitely evil, as are neighbors who spray poison when the wind is blowing your direction.
Newspaper has always completely disintegrated when I’ve used it. But I put dirt on top of it, not mulch, maybe that makes a difference.
I’m kind of baffled by reflective globes in the garden. I keep thinking there must be something attractive about them that I’m missing.
Let me speak in defense of chubby ladies bending over. After a certain age, if you get down on the ground, getting up again is not so easy, hence the resort to bending over instead.
I guess I take extra notice of the seriously out-of-proportion windmills plunked into the center of sunny suburban lawns. A circle of synchronized impatiens usually surrounds these. Having spent many childhood summers visiting my relatives in Holland, to this day when I see photos or paintings of windmills with expansive skies and low horizons behind them I recall my heritage with warmth. A four foot aberration in front of a split level just offends my senses…mary
Welcome, Mary, to A Way to Garden, and thanks for sharing a new one. I am thankful to say the faux-Holland theme hasn’t hit my neighborhood. Phew!
How about a flying Wonder Woman doll?
‘yes yes’ or ‘no no’.?
(I do bring her in when it rains, otherwise her propellers get all clogged up)
Ah, Vegas fountains. Lit. To music, yet. Ken Smith, of the exquisite photographs and lovely gardens, mentioned something like that. We need these people, Margaret. Where else can we drive by at Christmas and see the fabulous displays? My fountain is a large round stone “platter” with a stone sphere in the center. I wish I could have a pond but I have a dog who enjoys making lots of mud. I did like the book mentioned by MSS.
I bought a milky opalescent ball (love your stone spheres, Margaret) and it looks fun to me tucked in the garden plantings.
Do you remember in the early 70’s when Life mag did an article on Tony Boy Boyardo in Livingston NJ? His garden had life size colored plaster busts of the family. Behind them were the ovens for his business.
I have seen flat life size black and white cows on large property on Martha’s Vineyard. I thought it was great fun. I also love when there are real cows (not in the garden).
I try to have a sense of humor about really kitschy, tacky (in my opinion) lawn and garden ornamentation. In fact, I’ll have to admit I enjoy them!
What I can’t abide is chemical and noise pollution. TruGreen (Ha!) sprays 2-4D on my neighbors yard on many a windy day and it just chaps my hide. They have to call me now whenever they’re going to spray. My very dear 90 year old neighbor also sprays his apple tree with something so strong that we can smell it a block away. I called poison control and they said I should rewash the clothes I had hung on the line and not eat the black raspberries growing in our yard under the tree:( This year Ive offered to buy him a box of organic apples from Ela Family Farms at our farmers market.
Excuse the rant, but I feel strongly about the issue of household herbicide and pesticide use. Thanks for the forum.
diana
Karen Anne: I have to agree with you about the reflective globes. Purpose? Reason? I’ve yet to find one. Our neighbor (yes, the same one with the fourth of July theme) has one near the back of her house, in purple no less, on a lovely white “plastic made to look like concrete” stand type thing.
To each his/her own with garden decor but I’m forced to look at this stuff when the blinds are open. I think I’ll rearrange my furniture tomorrow to face the other way.
[Miss Crankypants enters, stage left.]
1) Dyed red mulch does vex me. It’s been said here but I can’t say it enough.
2) The bridge to nowhere: I drive by a house whose owner has plunked a Monetesque bridge on the front lawn, surrounded by shale chips, a gazing ball, etc. It’s your basic nightmare. When Congress tries to pull this sort of stunt it becomes the target of national vitriol. When some suburban knucklehead gives this special vision to the world, it passes for klass.
3) “One day I’ll plant this, but for the next several weeks I’ll just leave it in its container on the front steps for all to admire.”
4) Variegated overload.
5) The same annual plantings, year after year. The flowerboxes ALWAYS get geraniums. The mailbox ALWAYS gets marigolds. The wooden half-barrel ALWAYS gets the Willy Wonka treatment.
6) Community vegetable gardens that resemble the set of “Sanford and Son.”
7) Anything planted in an old shoe or boot still looks like something planted in an old shoe or boot.
8) Annuals fans whose enthusiasm does not extend to deadheading, so now we have BROWNING annuals junking up the view.
9) We now return to your regularly scheduled, significantly less prickly blog.
Welcome, Miss Crankypants, er, Elise. And how do you REALLY feel? Go ahead, you can tell us. No need to hold back. ;-)
Love your list.
To be sure, the worst of worst is a nearby suburban gardener who “plants” plastic flowers amongst the emerging green of his spring gardens. Soon, the plastic begins to fade making the garden even more appealing. :/
I have a dear friend who does that … plastic flowers in front of her house. But she insists she has a black thumb — if she touches it, it will die — so I appreciate her attempt to grow something she can’t kill.
But the rest of the folks with fake flowers stuck in the ground? They don’t get no slack from me.
Plastic flowers are the bane of many people’s existences but one stylish 20th-century gal found them embraceable. Back in the 1950s the Franco-American socialite Daisy Fellowes planted the box parterres of her English country house—parterres designed by Russell Page, believe it or not—with colorful plastic flowers, deeming the artificial blooms cheerful and carefree. They only needed rinsing with a garden hose to keep dust at bay. She also had a habit of mixing silk flowers with real leaves (or vice versa) in the flower arrangements of her Paris mansion. So did the arts patron Marie-Laure de Noailles. Perhaps popular rules of good taste don’t apply when one has the courage of one’s convictions and a passion for provocation.
Welcome to An Aesthete’s Lament, and thank you the entertaining bits of faux fleur history. Who knew? (Well, you did.) I suspect daring Daisy and Marie-Laure executed these provocations with a real flourish, which perhaps is what is missing in the incidents cited otherwise in the Complaint Dept. here the last few days. Maybe our noted grievances were really all cases of too little of a bad thing! Now off I go to read about dear Daisy.
To return to the landscape fabric issue - when I bought my house five years ago I inherited the low maintenance garden center landscaper special (barberry, japanese spirea, sedum) complete with landscape fabric and the colored mulch.
The landscape fabric compacted my clay soil and kept any other compost or mulch from lightening it and despite the fact that I have pulled what seems to be miles of it out of the garden, five years later I am still finding pieces of it.
Also, (perhaps this is a Chicago thing) but my own personal pet peeve is the one straight line of impatiens in front of the overgrown yew foundation planting.
Welcome, Anne L. Good point about the barrier the fabric forms to building healthy soil. Thanks. And as for straight rows in general…well, you get my drift (as in, i plant in them, not lines).
My only huge peeve regarding gardens is RoundUp. I cringe at the thought of those gallons of poison getting spritzed and sprayed in every other garden in America.
Nothing like spraying a bit of that upwind of a bunch of children at play.
Makes me crazy. Bend over lazy America, and pull the weed by hand.
Welcome to A Way to Garden, and: You Go Reggie!
Holy cow: your list is my list! Someone mentioned one other thing I always notice: when beds or ponds are added too far from anything else happening in the yard/garden. I was on a garden tour today where this beautiful pond was built so far from the house that no one would ever enjoy it but only see it when they’re maintaining it. Related to that, it’s always goofy to see big tall waterfalls build on small ponds with no relation to the landscape. Always looks like a movie prop was dropped from the sky!
I don’t know if it got mentioned, but I find it a big no-no to make a foundation planting bed beside a house or other structure too narrow and have all the plants smashed up against the building. Nice and wide is the way to make a foundation planting! Give the plants room to grow.
I used to get twitchy about various “fox paws” in gardens, and then it occured to me that I would rather have the “fox paws” and people who cared about their home, even if it was in a different way than I might.
But, I do have one peeve, and that is people walking their dogs who allow said dogs to spray my plants!!!
Thankfully, they mostly get the hint when I give them the cranky eye!! If they keep going, the dogs don’t have a chance to take aim!!
Welcome, Betty. Unforgivable, free-range pets or leashed ones without manners. Agree.
Did anyone mention tire planters yet? I guess I can accept them because I tried making one and it wasn’t that easy.
What irks me lately is very contrived naturalistic waterfalls in places where the don’t belong - like a woodland waterfall would ever sprout out of a chiropractor’s office.
Excellent list of nonos - especially the red mulch - volcanic or otherwise. It always looks like dry dogfood to me.
People on my route love the sideways whiskey barrel spilling flowers. I watch their trash piles for the barrel hoops once the wood has rotted. I bring ‘em home and put them in my garden. The rusting metal looks nice amid the green and the hoops are not as formal as an armillary.
Bowling balls, anyone?
Welcome, NancyG. Recycling! As for bowling balls, the first time I saw them used (and the best time) was at Marcia Donahue’s in Berkeley, CA.
I stood in a garden aisle of a retailer this past weekend with 4″ metal gnome in hand, and my head whirling from the gentle “tsk, tsk!” of my “A Way to Garden” conscience. Nevertheless, the giggles of hilarity that erupted from my 12
yr-old son when he spied it nestled among the sedum were worth the public scorn. Shall I ever find redemption?
I have bowling balls! And three pins. Problem is, I have yet to find the perfect place for them. But I will.
Probably my favorite piece of useful yard art is a big green wooden ladder I stole from a neighbors trash. In the summer, it’s either a cantaladder or cukaladder …
I actually tried to build a big waterfall for my pond, but it looked absurd, like a volcano in my tiny garden. (My husband thought it’d be cool.) I took it down and built something much smaller and more natural looking. The big waterfall also created too much splash for the waterlilies.
Margaret, I am coming to the garden “no-nos” late as it seems that I spent the week-end weeding and trimming, with some planting thrown in!
no-no 1. All the whirlies from the maple trees. If anyone has suggestions for best dealing with them I would most appreciate hearing. IT is a neighhor’s tree not mine. I did some early mulching and many still grew into saplings in the mulch. Areas without mulch became mini forests.
no-no 2. I do not believe I saw this listed but I am in awe of the money and time involved in turned a dead tree into a carved animal . . . or even worse purchasing a carved bear etc and having it installed?
Margaret, Several weeks ago you advised me regarding underplanting some hemlocks. I am thrilled with the transformation. IT is an area outside the windows by my kitchen table. I used hosta, ferns, grasses and heuchera. I transplanted small pieces of woodruff throughout the area. Many thanks.
Thanks, Nancy, for your no-no’s (better late than never!) and I am delighted to hear the underplanting is going so well. Sounds beautiful, like it will bring many happy views day after day.
This relative gardening newbie asks timidly… please oh please explain what landscape fabric is…
I am glad you asked, Katlia. It reminds me that leaving people out of the conversation by not explaining is rude.
Landscape or weed-block fabric is one of several synthetic textiles in varied widths and thicknesses that are sold in rolls to use as an underlayment for various landscaping projects. The stuff is often black in color and also often made of polypropylene; you may have seen it on the “floor” of greenhouses or nurseries, between the rows, like a carpeting (have a look at what I mean).
People (contractors, homeowners) use it under paths and patios and so forth to suppress weeds that would otherwise push up between gravel or stone. Ditto in beds, under mulch (which is where it really loses it for me). Sometimes other “geotextiles” as these materials are called that are very similar are used alongside highways to hold banks and prevent erosion–you may have seen this.
Block weeds the materials often do…but because of what they’re made of, they never biodegrade and can be this scary layer of artificial stuff that’s permanently grown into your soil if used in a bed.
Hope this helps a little…maybe it conjures an “Oh, I’ve seen that stuff.”
The plastic covers are like Creeping Charlie. They both seem like they’d do a great job when you put them down. I hereby promise to leave my roll untouched in the basement.
I sell old crap (antiques) for entertainment, so here’s a few I’ve learned. Never go to a yard sale without asking if they have any gardening tools. You can recondition and sharpen most of the old tools. You can buy new handles at any hardware.
Never go to an estate sale without asking to see the cellar. The good tools are thrown in there with old canning supplies. No, that aluminum pot will not harm your canning jars; look for the ugly lid with wood handles while you’re down there.
Never let an airedale see you dig.
Never set rotten bananas out for raccoons; they’ll assume you hid buried treasure just for them under the rose bushes.
Never forget that stolen time is the best. When that phone call sounds like it’s going to be a long one, grab the cordless and head outdoors. You can get a lot of weeding done. It’s up to you to explain any pulling noises you make.
I really don’t like the look of the white chalky landscaping rocks as garden cover. It always makes the garden look like a garden outside of the local McDonalds. And landscape cloth (which I don’t use anymore) seems to really, really attract a large number of ants to take over my garden. It is like “woo hoo, a new ant nursery”. A few ants are nice, but uber-colonies, no.
Another HUGE no-no: invasive plants. All homeowners should know which plants are invasive in their area and do their best to keep their landscapes clear. Garlic mustard, multiflora rose, phragmites, loosestrife — just say NO!
Oh, and chemicals. Can’t say enough bad things about RoundUp, et al. The person I bought my house from left me with a garage-full. Now I’m stuck disposing of the junk. Ugh.
Welcome, MaryEllen. Funny, I was just writing a post about an invasive plant I haven’t been able to outsmart (read: kill) and so more on that perhaps tomorrow. But thanks for adding these to the list.
RE: Landscape fabric…In another thread on a post on underplanting, first-time visitor Chris just shared this experience (along with underplanting success stories), so I thought I’d copy it in here as well:
“…I have used landscape fabric successfully to remake an out-of-control, overweeded mess…lay the fabric out, cover with woodchips so it doesn’t look like you have a parking lot, wait a year or two (which also lets the wood chips compost), move the chips section by section to cut out the fabric and plant, leaving fabric covered by chips in areas that you want to keep as pathways etc.”
Why would someone plant gladiolas in a straight line against a concrete porch, and then tie them up together with white twine when they start to keel over? (Does anyone plant gladiolas???)
…Another gorgeous look — a neighbor installed hayracks above her basement windows (with iddy biddy petunias in them. They look like Groucho Marx eyebrows ready to bounce up and down.
Welcome, Joyce. I think you may have outdone all of us. Sounds gorgeous. Positively. Oh, my.
You have included my most despised gardening no-no…RED MULCH!!!!! Yuk…what exactly is it? I would like to add a plant to the list of gardening no-no’s - impatiens…the most insipid plant of all!
I think the red mulch should win the All-Time Worst award. What idiot decided that bright rust-red was the color we all should add to our gardens by the square yard?
I do think that I should stand up a little for Round-Up. My garden is infested by bermuda grass, the metastatic cancer of the plant world. There is NO WAY to get rid of it other than chemically. Even if you dig down three feet and get it out, it will come back, either from the one node you missed, or from seed.
You may know of Malcolm and Delphine Beck, the prophets of organic gardening here in Texas. I asked Delphine about the bermuda grass. She suggested solarizing (which I had already tried). I shamefacedly admitted to using Round-Up, and she told me that it decomposes to inert chemicals in just a few weeks.
I’ve researched it since then, and it’s quite true. Round-Up is NOT a permanent adulteration to the soil, and in hot weather, it decomposes to harmless compounds in as little as a week.
Welcome, Leigh, from a city of beautiful gardens and great gardeners (plus some pretty amazing Mexican food as I recall).
I second the (e)motion about red mulch. And since this is my blog: Motion passed! Yes, an invention of an idiot, truly.
And I think your Roundup point is well-considered. I am no scientist, so I cannot confirm nor deny (now I sound like a politician!). I think each of us must weigh each decision carefully, case by case. I know that knee-jerk use of any chemical is precipitous, and we must THINK before we ACT (not “ready, shoot, aim,” but the other way, please). So thanks for provoking more thought in the discussion here.
Re: Roundup
My daughter, who is a chemist, said “Why don’t you just pour it right into the birdbath?” when she saw I had purchased Roundup. So I guess one could put up little warning signs to stay away for 3 weeks along with tiny cakes of soap and little washcloths for the birds.
@Joyce: Speaking of provocative, enter the chilling testimony from your daughter. You know, in 20 years here I have relented 3 or 4 times. I always hate myself, and don’t do it for 5 or 8 years or more. I do know better. And I don’t believe the sunny half-life reports (just being better half-life-wise than truly horrible stuff doesn’t mean you’re great), even when I am desperate.
But I also understand what Leigh is saying and wonder if I had been more violent with my Hottuynia earlier on, if I could have stopped this invasive from getting hold, and wonder what is more better-worse. Such a hard topic, so many layers of thought to process to know what to do.
Invasives, chemicals, all if it very complex. And so we ruminate together here, I guess.
I live in Texas, where the half-life of glyphosate is 3 days; I am not above a watershed, creek, or stream; my soil is a type which renders glyphosate intert more quickly than any other (sandy loam w/ considerable clay and vigorous microbial populations); and I use it very little, at most once a year, on a very small amount of ground. Honestly, if I weren’t in Texas where it’s very hot, I probably would have given it up as a bad job.
The decision to use any herbicide or pesticide should be undertaken very carefully, after much research and thought (and prayer). The struggle against invasives is so tough that I would argue that — very occasionally, after all other control methods have been vigorously applied — a herbicide must be used to eradicate the offender.
Here are some of the resources I used to make the decision, including one from a science site and two others:
http://tncweeds.ucdavis.edu/products/handbook/14.Glyphosate.pdf
http://www.cdpr.ca.gov/docs/emon/pubs/fatememo/glyphos.pdf
So I feel very guilty. I desperately want to save my phlox, which have all fallen prey to nasty orange and black mosquito-legged beetles (that don’t fly). I couldn’t take it anymore. ALL of my phlox is affected, was told to use “Eight”, and I did. Some of the phlox are recuperating, but most are gone.
You know, I happily dig up and rip out invasive plants all the time, but what do I do about insects that just don’t surrender to soaps, etc.? Must I only grow what isn’t tasty to them??? I think I am starting to whine…sorry.
Garden no no for me is garden gnomes! Or perhaps you do not have them in your neck of the woods!
Welcome, Caroline. I think you are in good company, with some other anti-gnome friends among the group assembled. Hope you will soon stop in again.
I can’t condemn small gravel or crushed shell lawn substitutes, because where I live (a barrier island)it’s the best way to see snakes( and there are many poisonous ones). Plus, no chems. We have areas with native trees and plants, and a vegetable area.
Welcome, Missmsry. You are so right that gravel and the like is totally appropriate in some locales, I think. It is an organic-looking mulch on a barrier island, I would think. Good point. Come visit us (by boat? by bridge? by causeway?) again soon.
I keep the plastic nursery tags near my various tomato, herbs and vegetable plants. I hid them fairly deep in the soil but it allows me to quickly refer to important info about the plant. I wouldn’t do this in a flower bed, however.
Welcome, Early Snowdrop. I think that’s a great compromise…in the vegetable garden, why not use the nursery ones? Good idea. Hope to see you again soon.
My pet peeve happens right about this time of the year. Hanging planters and baskets that have gone stringy and woody and sparse. Nothing worse than seeing long tendrils of spent petunias or any flower for that matter. In my neck of the woods it’s time to think of glorious mums in all of the warm colours of autumn.
Hi, Cathy…and yes, I agree. I just tossed out a few annual potted things here that didn’t deserve to stay around one moment longer. And thanks for commenting on this older post…bringing the total number of comments to 100 (a first to A Way to Garden). :)
Driving around the country i see lots of garden no-nos - the red mulch is awful indeed. But the displays of gnomes and religious figures and the little dutch girl and boy, and fake deer all jumbled together are really amusing! wouldn’t want them in my yard but they’re fun to look at. now with the holidays coming up our dark nights will soon be illuminated by millions of lights, with reindeer and santas, etc. i think these are fun also but I hate loathe & despise those blow up creatures! i want to go out and shoot darts into them.
@Abby: Say ‘No’ to blow-up figures (except maybe the one in ‘Lars and the Real Girl,’ a very odd and touching indy film I saw not long ago on DVD. Hate blow-up lawn features, agreed. Thanks.
Oh, imagine my dismay when I read that whiskey barrells are a no-no just after planting mine with ornamental grass, daiseys, purple fan plants, margarita vines and lantana. I needed something large and heavy, so it wouldn’t be washed off my dock during a storm. I’m happy to report that it survived the summer (and Hanna) and the lush plants are cascading over all sides covering my “gauche” container choice. Also the little of it that does show is a beautiful wood that has weathered naturally, like the dock. I think I’ll keep it!
@Margaret T: I have whiskey barrels, too! Love them for down near my barn and driveway where their simplicity and scale. You are not alone.
Margaret, whatever happened to the diving momma? Did you ever see babies? Perhaps a pithe helmut next summer?
I know I’m a little late to the game here, but I just have to weigh in on one of favorite subjects, garden no-no’s. Since I live in a pretty new subdivision, the homes often come with a weedy lawn, and nothing else. These are large homes I’m talking about here. Four years later, and still not a shrub, flower, or plant in sight. Argh! Not sure what is worse though, because many of them plant two or three tiny boxwoods in front of their large homes and call it a day. Still others fill the area with random annuals, leaving their winter landscaping bare. Should I hire myself out as the neighborhood yard-nazi?
Must second Cathy’s comment about pitiful/dying hanging plants, and let’s face it - those glow-in-the-dark white plastic hanging baskets they come in with the heavy white hanging hook don’t help, do they? Am also not a huge fan of wishing wells or backyard ponds and/or pools that have a wall of rock and cascading waterfall as a ‘focal point’. Looks especially sad in close quarters where you can see the neighbor’s fence peeking over the top of the rock ‘wall’…
Welcome, Joan. I have to say I second all your (e)motions. Thanks for visiting, and come again soon.
Here is my personal list. I am certain many of these have been stated before, but they bear repeating.
1. scalloped edging, especially in brick-red. I find it simply intolerable.
2. Also, immensely sparse plantings of sad, small hostas and the like decorating the front of the house, with miles of white quartz in between (and typically topped off with scalloped edging).
3. Leaving pre-made hanging baskets in the white plastic containers (with the giant white hooks) they came in and displaying them on metal rods stuck into the middle of a drab lawn.
4. 3 foot painted-white mock-ancient-Greek statues.
5. On the statue rant: animals. Particularly the plastic rabbits and squirrels whose “cuteness” factor (read: eye size huge relative to head size, head huge size relative to body size) overshadows that of the real thing when seated side by side.
6. Lastly, the one peeve that goes without saying: chemicals. My belief is if it was not meant to grow in my garden, with my best physical defenses, it shan’t.
Welcome, Alexandra, a woman who knows what she (dis)likes! Love all your no-no’s, and do very much hope you will be back soon with more tips and (not)-to-do’s to share.
New developments are such a landscaping challenge. How long must new homeowners wait to obtain shade? It’s no wonder the fast growing, but pet peevy ugly silver maples and colorado spruce trees pervade 80% of the homes in my Minnesota neighborhood.
Oh dear, I’ve been guilty of a few of those (gnomes - for my kid!!), plastic nursery tags (too lazy to write my own, too forgetful to remember complicated latin plant names), and leaving dead plants in the ground for too long. I’d like to nominate a few others that I am not guilty of, just to spread the shame around: cutting down healthy/mature trees for views or caprice or wanting not to have to take care of them; having a paid gardener who does not know how to garden; planting invasives; weed whackers (that send the weed seeds over to other people’s gardens); gas-powered lawnmowers and other huge pollutors. Thanks, great post idea!
- Karen
http://greenwalks.wordpress.com
i just don’t get the plastic strips twisted so that they blow or twirl in the wind-kind of like hanging out trash as decorations
people parking cars in my garden not in the parking ares to get under tree shade-it is mean and distructive
water featurs with several types of rocks, mounded up with no consideration for aesthetics and the plastic liner showing–eww
thanks for the great site!
Welcome, Eileen. All good ones! The parking one is especially important: Cars are not exactly friendly to even the largest plants, our trees, let alone anything smaller. Hope to see you again soon.
A gardening no-no for me besides many of the ones already mentioned are the “faces”, eyes, ears, noses and mouths that people nail to their trees. It makes me feel like Dorothy right before the flying monkeys came to get her!
Welcome, Shelly. I am happy to report we don’t seem to have those in these here parts. Phew! Come back soon.
Shelly and I must live in the same area. I pass one of those faces on my way to work every morning and it freaks me out. Garden ornaments of all kinds seem to have exploded in the front and back yards of my neighbors. I know my gardens aren’t perfect but at least they are all natural. I have to admit there are times when I have been tempted to go around in the middle of the night and rid the neighborhood of these offensive “decorations” I have restrained myself so far, but it has not been easy.
Welcome, Grace. I cannot encourage vandalism (but I can grasp why you’d want to!). See you soon again.
I am a brand new aspiring gardener (sort-of) hoping that I can redeem myself after a failed first year. I must confess that I committed some of these garden no-nos. I have colored bamboo stakes in my garage right now. Oh well. I guess I have a lot to learn from this blog. I’m glad to find you.
PS. I do have a garden no-no, How about fake flowers. My neighbor’s yard is full of them!
Welcome, Natalie. And don’t worry about the colored stakes…use them up in the veggie garden or in the rear of a bed. And remember this: It’s your garden. Do as you please. Tell us all to go to gardener’s hell (which is where there are only plastic plants and silk flowers, as you apparently understand). Each year we grow our garden, our understanding of the how-to’s grows with it. So happy to see you here–and use the Forum to ask questions anytime.
I used to hate hate the big colorful globes on a stand. I’ve seen it used a few times now where it does look nice. Have to agree with other commenter on the sanford and sons look. Some people have more ornaments in their garden than plants!
Must admit that I am guilty of a few no-nos myself. Like not getting plants in the week they are purchased, lol. And not landscaping our new home.
It’s been 3 growing seasons since we’ve moved in and only 5 trees are planted so far. None near the house. But it’s a little different here cuz we have so much work on this little farm.
This blog gives me new inspiration. I won’t have gardens all around the house here, like I have had in ‘town’. I need simple plans so that I can maintain it well. At least until the kids are older.
This list of no-nos was a great read and I will keep it all in mind as I make my plans! Thanks Margaret! for this list and your awesome blog too!
Tina
Welcome, Tina. Don’t worry, we’re all guilty of some of them. To each his or her own. Just fun to hear everyone out in the comments here. I hope to see you here again with us soon.
Been enjoying your site for a while now, and am finally going to comment.
How about those spiral boxwoods or arborvitae or whatever kinds of trees that get shorn into unnatural shapes? or pom-pom trees? Yuk!
It is true that other topiary can be fun and creative, just not the kind that makes me feel like I am in suburban New Jersey. Does it work in suburban New Jersey - I doubt it.
another no no is planting without planning. I am afraid that i must admit that I haven’t matured sufficiently to follow that rule however, thank goodness that my plants love being moved around.
thanks for all the inspiration,Molly
Welcome, Molly; nice to hear from you and have your no-no’s to add to the list. Just so you know: 30-plus years into this “hobby,” I still plant without planning sometimes, too. Oops.